Walking the Rainbow Bridge

Chapter 8: The Alphabet People

I refer to the LGBTQIA+ community as the “Rainbow People”. However, that is not what most people know them as. They are most commonly called the “Alphabet People” by those who can’t keep up with what seems to be an ever-growing acronym. It started as LGB for a while, and then the T was added to include Transgender people.

While being Transgender is not the same as being Lesbian, Gay, or Bisexual, I believe that it was a very good idea to include it in the acronym because first, someone must figure out what gender they identify as before they can figure out whether they are Straight or Gay.

LGBT was just fine because it was four letters, did not take long to type, and fit into a 32-bit integer in a computer file. And then it got ruined when the Q was added. Q is often understood to represent “Queer”, which is literally a term for something weird, odd, strange, or unusual. In modern times, it refers to any identity or sexuality that cannot be defined as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender but that is still not cisgender and straight.

Others refer to the Q as someone who is “Questioning” and hasn’t quite figured out what they are yet. The lack of a common definition is part of what makes the Q confusing in the acronym, but I also understand that the idea was to be vague enough to include people not covered by the LGBT acronym. In this sense, it is much like the plus sign is used in LGBTQIA+. It leaves room for further definitions to be included in the umbrella term of Queer.

I, which stands for Intersex, was added later because it was not for some time that scientists and doctors understood enough biology to know that people are born with mixed chromosomes and genitalia some of the time. Intersex is the only term in the acronym that is specifically about the body of the person being biologically different. Because of this, it can seem like these people should not be included in the acronym. However, I would argue that these people face the same kind of challenges that gay and transgender people face because they face unusual sets of relationship and health problems. Many will also be harassed and questioned by others their whole life, whether they are a man or woman.

The Asexuals were later added with the letter A in the acronym. Because of the conflicting definitions of asexuality, asexual people rarely have an accurate representation. Some of them literally don’t have sex with people. Others do have sex but only do it to please their partner or for the social and financial benefits that come with having sex with people.

For more information on asexuality than what I can provide with my experience, I suggest the book “The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality” by Julie Sondra Decker

I am asexual, but I really feel like most asexual people need to do a better job of educating the public about what they really mean. A little bit less fighting between the sex-positive and sex-negative aces would be great.

By the way, an ace is a short form of asexual. It is also a playing card in a standard 52-card deck.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist making the playing card comparison.

In any case, you might wonder why the acronym keeps growing and how we can keep up with it. The good news is, you don’t have to. Obviously, people will keep coming up with new words and letters to describe themselves. The point of these labels is to help people outside their community understand who they are. Some people make fun of us because we are referred to as something that they can’t understand or remember. Others will do their best to understand the meanings of these labels as it applies to the person they love.

Although I have done my best to describe what these terms generally mean when they are used, the best way to really know a person is to talk to that person and ask them questions.

These terms are also not mutually exclusive. Someone being transgender or intersex does not mean that they cannot also be considered straight, gay, or bisexual. However, at this point, the logic breaks down.

Suppose a man named Steve is married to a woman named Alexandra because he was taught that he was supposed to marry someone of the opposite sex. Then he discovers that he is unable to have sex with her because he isn’t attracted to her sexually. He loves her personality deeply, but their relationship is never physical.

Instead, he finds that he is sexually attracted to men, but he is committed to his wife, whom he loves and has known for years. However, Alexandra discovers that she would rather be a man and then does a gender transition. Alexandra becomes Alex, cuts their hair short, takes testosterone for a few years, and looks like more of a man than Steve ever did to begin with. Now Steve is attracted to Alex because they look more like a man, but he always loved the person they were inside anyway. They live happily ever after, except for those who criticize them for being in a gay marriage.

But the funny thing is that their marriage wasn’t gay at the time but became that way later. I wish Steve and Alex all the happiness in the world, even though I made them up. However, similar stories of real people exist. Sometimes, relationships end because one or both people discover they are not as cisgender or heterosexual as they thought they were when they first met each other. I believe relationships like this probably can only be defined as Queer because no other suitable word for things like this exists.

The point is that the minds and souls of people are quite fluid. People do not always remain the same in the way they feel, and sometimes they find themselves living a life that was not their choice but instead one that they are in because it was expected by society.

In this book, I have chosen to stick with the acronym in its current most common form: “LGBTQIA+”. I believe that this is sufficient because the plus sign refers to anything else that is not already included by the other letters.

Every day, new terms are made up that I cannot pronounce, nor do I know what they mean. I might be part of the LGBTQIA+ community myself, but I am 38 years old, and I still see things very much the same way I did in the 1990s. I believe in two genders, male and female, but I think there is a ratio between them, and some of us are 50/50, 60/40, or 25/75.

I can’t keep up with all the new terminology, so I can understand why people who are not even part of the LGBTQIA+ community would be quite confused and scared by these people who come up with new words and keep extending the acronym. For all we know, by next year, it could be LGBTQIAROTFLMAOSEXYAFBIDGAF.

I love and support you, my fellow Rainbow People, but you gotta do better at not scaring people off with all the new terminology so quickly. People have the right to make words, but they must be clearly defined and gradually introduced to the people in your life.