When I was in my early twenties, I heard the occasional mention of gay marriage. At the time, I did not understand why it was a big deal, nor did I have a clue why gay people wanted so badly to be married. I figured that marriages were doomed from the start and that if gay people wanted to be as miserable as straight people, then let them have same sex marriage!
But that was over 15 years ago, and since then, I have learned so much more in terms of what the debate over marriage equality is about. I can tell you with certainty that it is about money as well as other important rights and privileges that governments only give to married people.
There are more than 1100 benefits that married couples receive that single people don’t have access to. The following links cover them in more detail than I could ever explain on my own.
http://www.whymarriagematters.org/pages/protections-and-responsibilities-of-marriage
https://www.getlegal.com/legal-info-center/family-law-divorce/marriage/
I must admit, I was very surprised to hear that there were so many laws that affect married people and that they pay less taxes than single people. I even remember hearing someone in a podcast mention that he only got married for the tax benefits.
Silly me, I thought that marriage was just a contract of commitment and a ceremony to tell your other friends and family that: “Hey, this person is special to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with them. Anyone who hurts them will get a good old country ass wuppin.”
I know that my opinion as a Confused Virgin doesn’t count for much on the topic of marriage. However, that raises other questions:
It seems there is a lot more to this topic, and my thoughts have evolved a lot over the past 20 years. I naturally support gay marriage because I want my Rainbow people to experience these benefits the same way straight people do.
But at the same time, a part of me says that maybe the idea of legal marriage should be abolished entirely. I think that having the entire legal and economic system forcing people to get married for financial reasons or just to give someone health insurance can lead to dishonesty. People may get married to the wrong person and then have a nasty divorce later, all because they got married for tax benefits.
But the law is not the only problem. People also respect married people more than single people. If you happen to be a 38-year-old single virgin, people look at you and wonder what the hell is wrong with you that nobody wants to partner with you.
Moreover, it draws suspicion. After a while, people who should be minding their own business start coming up with their own theories as to why certain people are single and never married.
But I believe in living a life of honesty, and therefore, I am glad that I did not end up in the wrong marriage. If someone gets married to a person of the opposite sex just to gain legal benefits or to avoid judgment by society for being single, then they may face trouble.
I can tell you, being single gets lonely sometimes, but there are benefits to being single that people who got married at a young age will also never experience. I wish happiness to all the people: gay or straight, single or married.
Everyone must do what is right for them. At no point should the government or anyone else be rewarding or punishing people for who their partner happens to be, or if they cannot find anyone at all who wants to be with them.