The first step towards acceptance of the LGBTQIA community is to build the Rainbow Bridge. There are two main sides to the debate over equal rights for the Rainbow people.
Side A is the people who are themselves lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, or Asexual. We know who we are, and it’s easy to forget that others may not have had the same experiences as us. We have many words that we know what they mean, but others outside our community may not. In short, the Rainbow people are basically like computer programmers because 90% of people have no idea what we are talking about. Also, the reason I say we in this paragraph is because I am part of the LGBTQIA community. Specifically, I am the T and the A.
Side B are the people who happen to be Cisgender and Heterosexual. The majority of people are this way. They simply accept that if their body is male or female, then that is what they must be. They also only seek to date, marry, or have sex with someone of the opposite sex because they have never felt any attraction to the same sex. Because they have never needed to question the gender roles and stereotypes, they never needed to think about it deeply. Then, when they meet someone from the LGBTQIA community, they wonder what is wrong with them.
The ability to understand that other people do not have access to the same information as us is called Theory of Mind. There is no easy fix for the fact that straight and gay people are not the same. However, it is still pretty easy to realize that a gay man is attracted to men just as a straight woman is. A lesbian (term for a gay woman) is attracted to women the same way a straight man is. At least parallels and comparisons can be made in this case.
Cisgender and Transgender people are also not the same. In fact, they are more different than gay and straight people. It can also be easy to forget that being Transgender has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality at all. It is a state of mind where our brain and/or soul tell us where we fall on the gender spectrum. Because of this, it is more difficult to bridge the gap about this topic. I will, of course, do my best because this is my experience, but I also welcome the input of others who can explain it better than I can.
But if there is any group in the whole LGBTQIA acronym that is the most misunderstood, it is the ‘I’, which stands for Intersex. Intersex people fall outside the male or female BIOLOGICALLY. Being Intersex is a fact about your physical body and is not about identity or sexual attraction. The problem is that many people do not know that Intersex people exist. Even one of my best friends told me that everyone is either male or female. But considering things like Klinefelter Syndrome (XXY chromosomes), androgen insensitivity, and those born with both a penis and a vagina, I dare anyone to decide which of the two sexes these people are.
My statement on Intersex identity is that only the person who lives in that body can tell us who they are. For example, I have a dear friend who I admire greatly and who is intersex. She identifies as a woman and aligns with a female gender identity despite having XY chromosomes. In that regard, the same standard of self-identification applies to Intersex people just the same as it does to Transgender people. So please, don’t tell people who they are because you are not them. That is like telling a child who wants to make music that they must instead become a carpenter and that they are not allowed to play an instrument or sing.
And finally, the Asexual community is perhaps the most controversial within the community because we often fight over two competing definitions of what Asexuality means. This topic will be covered in its entire chapter.
I am qualified to speak from my own experience on Transgender and Asexual identity because it is my own experience. However, just because I am the author does not mean that those of L, G, B, and Q cannot contribute their own experiences. If you would like to join me in future updates to this book with personal stories or allegories that explain your experience, I can include them and give you credit.
Remember, the goal is to build the Rainbow Bridge. I can’t do it alone. We are in this together. We can help educate the cisgender, straight people on what our words mean rather than merely calling them homophobic or transphobic and then cutting off communication.
Also, for the record, a phobia is a fear, not hatred. Can you blame the “normal” people if they are a little bit afraid of us? After all, some of us look really strange and use big words that these people have never heard in their lives. Some of them are open to learning and will accept us, but the process of building the bridge begins with us.